The Rebirth of A Butterfly

I finally started the fiction I promised.

<!--EZCODE BOLD START--> Disclaimer: This is pure fiction. It will have figure skating content but it has nothing to do with Michelle Kwan or any other real person.<!--EZCODE BOLD END-->

<!--EZCODE BOLD START--> The Rebirth of A Butterfly<!--EZCODE BOLD END-->

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> Prologue<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

1979, Taipei

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> “Kristina, I know you wouldn’t understand. You are so strong and independent. I always admire you for that. I know you would have survived if the same thing happened to you. I can’t. When he left, he took my heart with him. There is this empty place inside of me that will never be filled again. I can’t be a loving mother to Chin Chin because I simply have no more love to give. I am afraid I’ll turn into a bitter woman down the road. Chin Chin deserves much better. But please don’t blame him. He didn’t deceive me; I deceived myself. It was so perfect that I willed it to be true. My Prince Charming swept me off my feet and pledged his eternal love to me. What did I do to deserve that happiness? Nothing. As it turned out, it wasn’t true.”<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

A loud wail disrupted Jia Li’s concentration. She turned her head to the wailing baby on the bed besides her. The baby grimaced in the bundle nurses wrapped her in and cried in a strong voice that could wake the dead. Jia Li picked her up and held her tightly: “Baby, mom loves you too. Mom loves you too much to keep you. Aunty Kristina and uncle Marc will love you better than mom does. They’ll take you to Hong Kong. You’ll like it there. In Hong Kong, you won’t be frowned upon because you are of mixed blood. You’ll be accepted, and you’ll have a big brother to play with. His name is Greg. He’ll protect you as all big brothers do. You’ll be so much happier than staying here with only a mother…” Jia Li’s voice caught. She buried her face in the baby’s soft neck. Several minutes passed before she composed herself again.

The baby did not stop crying during the whole time and her tiny face had turned quite red. Jia Li wiped her tears away and crooned to the baby: “Hsss…baby, you’ll draw the nurses. Don’t cry so much. Everything will be all right. You just wait. You’ll be prettier and smarter than your mother. You’ll be as strong and independent as your aunty Kristina. You’ll make a name for yourself and I’ll be so proud of you. Maybe…maybe your father will too…once he realizes you are his daughter.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. Sadness was like a tangible mist circling in the sterile and barren room, holding the mother and the baby in its tight grip.

Jia Li shook her head, as if shaking herself out of the emotional state, and opened her hospital robe. The baby quieted after she got hold of her mother’s breast. Jia Li held the baby in her left arm and went back to the letter:

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> “I named her Chin. It means love in Chinese. One of my favorite Chinese poems started with: ‘I ask the world what love is, that can make beings live or die for it’. A poet wrote this poem to commemorate a wild goose that threw itself to the ground and killed itself after a hunter killed its mate. Yes, even wild gooses can love with their whole beings. I know you’ll want to give her an English name. I leave that to your discretion.

Oh, Kristina, I won’t ask you to love Chin Chin because I know you will. I don’t need to ask you to take care of her because I know you will. You are a wonderful mother to Greg and you want a daughter so desperately. Chin Chin is fortunate to have you as her mother. She’s yours now.

Please don’t make her hate her father. I want her to grow up to be a loving person, not a bitter one. I don’t think you should tell her my sorry tale until she is all grown. I don’t want any sadness to touch her life, especially during her childhood. But I defer to your better judgment on this. I know ‘your’ daughter will be loving, intelligent, independent and strong. I have not a moment of doubt about that. That is why I am so at ease with my decision.

I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done for us. As a Buddhist who believes in karma, I believe you shall be richly rewarded in the future for your generosity and kindness. Fare well, my friend.

Love,

Lili”<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

Footsteps sounded down the corridor. A distinct English-speaking voice could be heard over the mummery background. Jia Li quickly put the baby on the bed, tied up her robe and rushed to the window. Being deprived of her mother’s milk, the baby started crying again with all her might. Jia Li turned back and gave a sad last glance. As the door opened, Jia Li threw herself out into the thin air beyond the window. A blood-chilling scream filled the room:

“LILI!”

No eggs, no tomatos either. I guess my debut as a novelist went okay, if it's been read at all. Seriously, can someone teach me how to edit once it's posted? I still don't see any edit button anywhere. Skatingfan? Littlepebble? Mano? I read somewhere that Mano is taking a break or something. What did I miss? I didn't receive any notice!

To answer your question about editing...log in...when you're logged in there should be an edit button to click on exactly to the right of the reply button on your post.
ex: eilaram
Global user
(4/23/00 3:08:22 pm)
Reply | Edit

eilaram, which screen you're talking about? Do I click on "Add Reply" button? But there's no edit button! Is it because I'm only a local user instead of a global one? There's no edit button on this reply screen or the message screen I can see. What's going on? Help!

[mano]

Well it's about time you posted your fanfic, for crying out loud. That was excellent and I'm feeling Joy Luck Clubbish. Have you got an Amy Tan in you or what!!!

BTW, you have to log on to the forum to get that edit thing. Go to "My Control Center" on the top left of the page and it will ask you to input your password again then you should be all set.

I got it!!! I got the edit button now. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mano! I know my story is a downer in the beginning. But hey, without death, how can rebirth be possible? Amy Tan, I don't know about that. It'll turn into something quite different from the Joy Luck Club very soon, once I find time to write them.

[Sharon]

yingshan...I'm all teary eyed! Great debut. I know what mano means about the Joy Luck Club. I thought the very same thing! I'm waiting for that butterfly. I sobbed the whole way through JLC.

Great beginning! You've got me intrigued, definitely. And I know which poem you're talking about--it's one of my faves. I'll try to find an English translation for the whole thing somewhere and post it here; would that be ok?

Blueshirt, sure. I'd love to see an English translation. I did my best, but my translation is probably not the greatest in the world. The tricky thing about translating Chinese poems is that Chinese poems are so brief with all the omitted subjectives and gazillion metaphors.

It's cool you guys like the prologue. I really made you teary-eyed, Sharon? Wow, my writing is better than I thought. :LOL I'll work on my first chapter this weekend. I have the major plotlines in my head. I just need to put it on papers. BTW, you guys may have realized it, I'm tweaking "Madam Butterfly". I hate that story, along with "Miss Saigon", so I'm tweaking it.

[Sharon]

Yes you did! Keep up the good work, I can't wait for Monday....tweek away

I thought I had an English translation somewhere, but turned out there were only a few regular-metre <!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> shih<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->s by the guy and no <!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> t'su<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->s. I'll look in the library. BTW I thought your translation was very good, and I loved how you incorporated the story into the letter as well. What do you hate about Madame Butterfly and Miss Saigon?

I'll be appreciate it if you can find a translation. Why do I hate Madame Butterfly and Miss Saigon? An Asian prostitute who had to be rescued by a white hero and died at the end so her white hero can marry a proper white woman. Urgh. It ticked off this Asian feminist. Madame Butterfly feuled all the stereotype of submissive Asian women.

<!--EZCODE BOLD START--> Chapter I<!--EZCODE BOLD END-->

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> 1986, Vancouver<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

“Mama, hurry! I want to do my new spiral before everyone gets there! I want to show papa when he gets home!” Audrey pleaded while struggling with her sneakers.

“It’s only five o'clock. We’ll have plenty of time. Here, let mom help you.” Kristina dropped her keys and purse on the kitchen counter and kneeled down on one leg to help her daughter with the shoelaces. “Did you remember your skates, orange juice and fruit bar?”

“Of course I remember my skates. Silly mama!” Audrey giggled.
“How about the orange juice and fruit bar?” Kristina said it with a teasing smile.
“They are in my backpack too.”
“Good. Now we are ready.” Kristina tied up Audrey’s shoelaces, put on her own flat pumps, and ushered Audrey out of the door.

The morning air was damp and cold. The sun had not made its appearance. The whole neighborhood was still in a slumber. Mother and daughter climbed into the red sports utility car parked in the driveway. Alexandra loved her mother’s car. After all, she was the one who picked out the color for her mother a year ago when they first moved here. When she told her mother how pretty color red was, her mother had the oddest expression on her face. Audrey didn’t understand the reason then and had forgotten about it now.

As they were waiting for the car’s engine to heat up, the newspaper deliveryman drove by. “Good morning, Miss and Mrs. Hahn!”
“Good morning, Mr. Peterson!” Audrey gave the deliveryman a sweet smile and waved her hand.
“Going to ice rink again?”
“Yes! I just learned a spiral!”
“A spiral huh? Is that where you twist your body around like a blur?”
“Noooo! It’s holding one leg up and gliding. It’s really difficult!”
“I’m sure it is. My back hurts just by listening to your explanation. Hey, maybe you’ll be competing in the Olympics someday!”
Audrey giggled.
“Okay, you have a good day now!”
“You too!”

The deliveryman drove by. Kristina’s sports utility car spurred to life and they were on their way.
Audrey pulled out the fruit bar and started eating breakfast. Audrey practiced skating in early morning from six to eight, three times a week. They never had time to have proper breakfast before leaving home, so Kristina had been storing boxes and boxes of fruit and grain breakfast bars at home. Ever since they moved to Vancouver, both Kristina’s kids had caught on skating fever. Audrey practiced figure skating before school; her brother Greg played hockey after school.

The heavy skating schedules the two kids keep had been tough for Kristina and her husband Marc to keep up. Kristina was a freelance writer and taught classes in journalist school; Marc was a globetrotting news photographer. Her specialty was in Asian finance; his was international politics. Kristina quit her correspondent job after Audrey was born. She had never regretted that decision. Audrey was a gift from a dear friend. Kristina would have given up everything for Audrey with, or without the pledge she gave to Audrey’s birth mother.

Kristina looked at Audrey’s big brown eyes and smiled. Nobody would regret having Audrey as a daughter. Audrey was a bright girl with the sweetest nature. Unlike a lot of youngsters, she did not have a mean bone in her body. Audrey was compassionate, sensitive, considerate and loyal to a fault. And judging from her fair skin, small oval face, shining dark hair and big doe-like eyes, Kristina suspected that Audrey would break many young men’s hearts once she grew up. Audrey has already wrapped both men in their family around her little finger.

It was amazing for Audrey to maintain her sweet nature after they moved from Hong Kong to Vancouver. It was a difficult transition for a child of Caucasian – Asian mixed heritage. Audrey looked Chinese. The only sign of her Caucasian heritage was her fair skin. She fit in well in Hong Kong, but stood out like a sore thumb in West Side of Vancouver. There were few Asian faces in West Side in 1986. A lot of Hong Kong residents, driven by fear of 1997 when Hong Kong would be converted to communist rule, started immigrating to Vancouver recently, but most of them find homes in Richmond area.

It broke her heart when Audrey came home from school and asked her why no other kids played with her during breaks, or why some kids whispered “Jap” when she walked by. Since Audrey has grown up in a Caucasian family, she didn’t know she looked different from other kids in her school. She was puzzled when Caucasian kids didn’t return her smile or answer her questions as her big brother Greg would. Just as Kristina feared, moving from Hong Kong to Vancouver has confused Audrey about her own identity. By comparison, Greg had blended in seamlessly after he figured out how to dress and talk like Canadian kids in a few weeks.

Fortunately, Audrey’s confusion and insecurity had gone down after she started figure skating classes. Figure skating, as an individual sport, gave her a chance to establish her own identity outside of the Asian-or-Caucasian confusion. That was the reason why Kristina had not complained about getting up at 4:30 every other morning. Audrey was smiling again. Which mother would not do everything in her power to see that?

Plus, Audrey was a nature on ice. Ever since the first time she stepped on ice, she got every move the coach taught her only after a few tries. While most other kids were sliding and falling, she glided on ice effortlessly. All coaches at their local rink were impressed. More than one coach had told her that she should consider serious training for her daughter. Audrey has been pleading for more skating classes along with everyone else. Kristina had no defense against her daughter’s plead, let along Marc, who was a pushover where Audrey was concerned. One-hour class had increased to two. Two times a week became three. Audrey sometimes would even beg to go to the public sessions to practice. Kristina had set only one condition: homework came first. She could skate as long as she finished all the homework in a timely fashion and kept her grades above par. Audrey had kept her end of the bargain so far.

“Look! Adrian is here!” Audrey’s voice pulled Kristina back from her thoughts. They have reached the rink.
“Who’s Adrian?” Kristina pulled the car into the parking lot.
“He plays hockey with Greg and other boys. He’s faster than everyone else.”
Kristina looked around the parking lot and found only one other car. “How do you know he’s here?”
“That’s his bike.” Was that a blush on her daughter’s face? Kristina hid her amusement. Wait until her dad heard about this one. She thought to herself. “Okay, go ahead to say hello to Adrian. I’ll park the car.” She opened the door for Audrey. Audrey flashed her a quick smile and bounced off the car, dragging the backpack with her.

Adrian flied down the length of the ice with the puck…Gretzky shoots…Gretzky scores!!! He held up his arms in triumph, but the ensuing clapping startled him. He was unaware of an audience. He turned around and found a little girl peeking through the door on the board. From where he stood, all he noticed was a pair of big brown eyes. The girl did not even reach the height of the board. Despite of his annoyance of the interruption, he said hi out of courtesy that had been drilled into him by his parents.

The little girl didn’t notice his annoyance and gave him a white smile: “Why do you play alone?” Adrian answered, although a bit reluctantly: “I’m practicing puck - handling.” The implication of his necessity of being alone was completely lost on the little girl.
“I’ll play with you!” Audrey started putting on her skates.
“You are a figure skater!” Adrian looked at her skates and proclaimed. Although he didn’t mean to be condescending, his words were damning enough. For a serious hockey player, there was nothing more laughable than seeing a figure skater try to play hockey with figure skates on. Of course, figure skaters didn’t have to tell hockey players not to do the reverse since it was impossible to figure skate with hockey skates anyway.
“I played hockey with my brother occasionally.” The little girl was undaunted.
“Who’s your brother?”
“Greg. He’s taller than you. He has blonde hair.”
“Oh, he’s the new kid.” Adrian looked at the little girl and tried not to show his surprise. The girl was apparently Asian and Greg apparently was not.
“Yup. But he’s very good now.” Audrey said it loyally and picked up a shorten hockey stick lying by the board.
“You may be hurt in those skates.” Adrian tried one more time to dissuade her.
“No, I won’t.” Audrey skated down the ice to where Adrian stood.
“Are you sure you know how to play hockey? You’re holding the stick like an umbrella.” Adrian frowned.
As a way of answering, Audrey hooked her stick out, stole the puck from under Adrian’s stick, and shot at the goal. The puck went in high and fell down to the back of the net. She turned back to Adrian and lifted her chin: “Are you sure you know how to play hockey?”
It was a gauntlet all right. Adrian raised his eyebrow and gave her a lopsided grin: “We’ll see.”

Kristina ran into the superintendent of the rink in the parking lot and chatted with him for a while. By the time Kristina walked in, the match on ice had turned quite heated.

She was amused to see her tiny daughter chasing a boy at least four years her senior. The boy was much faster and more powerful than Audrey, but Audrey, with her figure skating training and the toe picks on her figure skates, was quite agile in tight quarters. She has to resort to checking from behind in open ice most of the time, but she did manage to steal the puck away with some nifty turns behind the net several times. With competitive spirit on overdrive, the two kids were yelling at each other.

“You’re as slow as a zabonie. You can’t catch me!”
“You don’t know how to play the puck!”

Kristina was not sure where her daughter learned to talk like this. Neither kid was wearing a hockey helmet. Although the boy tried not to run the much smaller Audrey into the board, some body contacts were inevitable. She became increasingly concerned. Just as she was about to call out to her daughter to break up the “hockey” match, the boy turned around. Kristina’s voice was stuck in her throat as she saw the boy’s face. Understanding dawned. The boy who fascinated Audrey apparently had Asian blood in his veins.

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> (to be continued)<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

[mano]

First Littlepebbles story, now this. Must be something in the water. Thanks Yingshan and it's soooo cute the story. Sharon is going to like the fact that you got the guy and girl to meet early. I say you go girl!!! Thanks for the story and right yourself a check 'cause you deserve one.

Mano, it's not the water. It's the long weekend. It gave us a chance working on our writing. And talking about writing, how about you? (hint, hint, hint) I think I'll split the writer's check with Littlepebbles this month.

Okay, I wrote something in the chapter I was too sure of. I need help on these questions:

- Did I spell Wayne Greski's name right? It doesn't look right to me, but I can't say why.

- I've only been to Vancouver once. I did a little research on it on the web, but anyone who knows the area in 1986 well can correct me if I was wrong on the demographic of the West Side.

- I need help on a beginning skater's schedule. I was making semi-intelligent guess from skating articles I read. Do they practice in early morning? How long was a session? How many sessions a week? How soon does a first year skater progress? Do they learn spirals after a year? Do they learn single jumps? What's the technical progress of a young skater?

I'll appreciate for whatever help you can give me. You can post answers here or send me an e-mail at operettajk@aol.com. Please put "The Rebirth of A Butterfly" in the subject line. I delete most e-mails from strangers without opening these days. I get too many junk mails.

That should be "...I was NOT too sure of." And how does this "view" counter work? It dropped from 20+ to 8 after I posted my last message. Strange...

[mano]

but it ain't IAC. Littlepebbles ICQ'ed me and said that she wrote about a sentence an hour for her Mulan story due to writer's block. I'm lucky if I can get a word a day for IAC. I'm so brain frozen on that right now. Thus, I wrote something that I'll post on BFFF later.

BTW, I can only help you on the spelling of The Great One. It's Wayne Gretzky. I'm clueless on Vancouver since I've never been there. My dad says it's a beaut of a city though.

How do you format on this board? I have indent before every paragraph when I typed the story in Word, but lost them all after pasting it here. I just went back and added in a blank line between each paragraph. I wonder whether we can format indent in here. Anybody knows?

Vancouver is indeed a beautiful city. It's very clean and very green. With all the influx of Hong Kong immigrants and investments, it's bustling with constructions when I visited there four years ago (?). Of course, I set the scene up in Vancouver as a tribute to #9. You might have found many tributes to 6.0 as well, including the spiral reference. I'm also trying to write cities I've visited so I would know what the heck I'm talking about. Hopefully, I'll visit Salt Lake City before I end the story there.

[mano]

I don't indent my stories anymore 'cause it doesn't indent once you paste it on EZboard. You can add spaces, but that's about it, I think.

[bearpaw]

Yingshan - this is really good! Congrats on such a great story! It was worth the wait.

More! More!

Thanks, bearpaw. I thought of the plot for the second chapter just these past few days. I just need time to put it on paper. Did I mention this is more a suspense - romance novel? Well, you'll see after the second chapter.

Mano, I guess I'd better change my formatting in Word as well. BTW, the girl may meet the boy early. It doesn't mean they'll stay together. Ah...I hope I let out enough teasers to have you guys hooked.

Hi Yingshan
Saw your post at BFFF thread. Let's brainstorm

butterflies
<img src=http://www.geocities.com0/Tokyo/Flats/3170/butterfly.gif>

eyes
<img src=http://www.geocities.com0/Tokyo/Flats/3170/eyes.gif>

book cover (text)
<img src=http://www.geocities.com0/Tokyo/Flats/3170/bookcover.gif>

Any preference from each. Still looking for a MK-like layback

Design drafts due later...

Chemy, you're good!!! These are great elements! I like the second butterfly from the left because the color is darker and the shape is pretty. My second choice would be the last butterfly. I like the first pair of eyes from the left. That woman looks more innocent. The second woman doesn't look Asian and the third one looks cooler and more calculating. My idea is only taking the eyes, without brows or anything else and blending it with the butterfly. This will be the background. I'm thinking of a much darker background since Lili, the mother, was dead at the beginning of the book. Maybe using the blue in the second butterfly so the background will be black and blue?

I'd prefer the text in much smaller size because I want the graphic to stand out. No need to post my screen name since it's not my real name anyway. The overlapping effect is very cool, but I'd rather emphasize the word "Rebirth" than "Butterfly". BTW, the skater in the foreground can wear red.

Thank you so much! I'll make sure you get your check this month.

i just want to say i really really like your story and i'm waiting for a new chapter......

Hi Yingshan

This is not the actual layout. I'm just showing the elements for the bookcover:

<img src=http://www.geocities.com0/Tokyo/Flats/3170/bookcover2.gif>

To be continued....