Brandon
January 1st, 2007, 07:52 PM
Those who do not have a sense of humour, please leave now, THIS is not gonna be pretty...oh no it ain’t. :D
And please, read this with a British accent (a la...Julie Andrews). It’s betta that way.
Now even though some of this storay may apply to some of my friends of whom (I love, and would neva deliberately hurt, honestly, but) have been guilty of this in the past...always, always rememba, I love alll of you very, very mutch, and Happiest of New Years to oall. Good night, and rememba your British accents.
Once upon a time in the beautiful land of Mt Kamelot, there lived a few pretty maidens. One day, 2 of the pretty maidens went for a walk into the woods to pick wild berries for a pie they wanted to bake for the Queen of Mt Kamelot. They were just picking berries, minding their own business, when all of sudden a boogeyman jumped from behind a tree and scared the crap outta the pretty maidens, who in turn became very angry and criticised the boogeyman for making them go dodo in their britches. The boogeyman who only scared the pretty maidens to get a negative response in the first place, was very happy and ran away. The pretty maidens went back to Mt Kamelot and as they always do, complimented each other on how pretty they looked for the day and then went to bed.
The next day the pretty maidens went to the stream to collect water (that’s “whooota” not “water”, British accent, rememba?) for their gardens. Once again, the boogeyman jumped from behind a tree and scared the pretty maidens, and again they made dodo in britches. Now, they’d just washed the dodo out of their britches the day before, so the pretty maidens were really, really mad this time, so once again the pretty maidens criticised the boogeyman for scaring them. The boogyman once again had accomplished what he wanted, so he quickly ran away. The pretty maidens went back to Mt Kamelot, and as they always do to calm their frazzled nerves, complimented each other on how pretty they looked and went to bed.
The next day, 3 of the pretty maidens went to see the Queen about the boogeyman and to give her the pie they baked. The pretty maidens (who once again, hopefully don’t miss the whole point of this story and fail to realise that I’m on their side, even though I don’t agree with some of their choices regarding the Mt Kamelot boogeymen) told the Queen that the boogeyman scared them numerous times and wanted her to do something about it. The Queen told the pretty maidens that she couldn’t do anything about it, because the boogeyman was just too slick, and that they should just IGNORE the boogeyman and he’d probably stop scaring them. But the pretty maidens weren’t satisfied, so they went home a huffin’ and a puffin’ because the boogeyman would not be banished from the land like they (and ALL the people of Mt Kamelot, including the HOT and SEXY narrator of this story) wanted. “Why doesn’t the Queen do something about this?!” one cried. “Is it because I’m not pretty?” another asked. “NO you’re very pretty today, dammit!” another replied. “Oh reeeally? Why thank you and you’re all looking pretty today too!” the other responded. “Oh please, stop, you’re making us blush!” the others purred back. The pretty maidens, now completely exhaaauuusted from complimenting each other’s beauty, walked home and went to bed.
Early the next day, the pretty maidens went for a stroll to pick flowers for their hair. They were just picking flowers, minding their own business, when all of sudden that boogeyman jumped from behind a tree and scared the caca outta them pretty maidens, who in turn, once again (even after the Queen AND her Ladies in Waiting sensibly advised them to just IGNORE the boogeyman), criticised the boogeyman for scaring them.
One of the pretty maidens asked “Mr. boogeymans, why is you always scaring us for?” to which the boogeyman replied “Cuz like all boogeymen, I know you’ll get mad and criticise me, and I like that. If you all stop criticising me and just IGNORE me, maybe I would stop scaring the caca-dodo outta you.” and then the boogyman ran away.
Now certainly (the people of Mt Kamelot thought) these sensible, mature and wise pretty maidens...hearing this from the Queen and now from the boogeyman HIMSELF, would show that they have the brains to go along with their beauty, and just IGNORE the fricken boogeymen so that maybe they’d go away (yes, he has a brother and some cousins too...didn’t I mention that? Ooopsy :D), restoring some peacefulness to Mt Kamelot. But, alas...the pretty maidens continue to criticise the boogeymen time and time again...
:cry“OHHHH baby jesus...will the boogeymen eva, eva go aWAY!?” the people of Mt Kamelot cried. “There looks to be not a chance in hell.” the narrator replied.
The End
And please, read this with a British accent (a la...Julie Andrews). It’s betta that way.
Now even though some of this storay may apply to some of my friends of whom (I love, and would neva deliberately hurt, honestly, but) have been guilty of this in the past...always, always rememba, I love alll of you very, very mutch, and Happiest of New Years to oall. Good night, and rememba your British accents.
Once upon a time in the beautiful land of Mt Kamelot, there lived a few pretty maidens. One day, 2 of the pretty maidens went for a walk into the woods to pick wild berries for a pie they wanted to bake for the Queen of Mt Kamelot. They were just picking berries, minding their own business, when all of sudden a boogeyman jumped from behind a tree and scared the crap outta the pretty maidens, who in turn became very angry and criticised the boogeyman for making them go dodo in their britches. The boogeyman who only scared the pretty maidens to get a negative response in the first place, was very happy and ran away. The pretty maidens went back to Mt Kamelot and as they always do, complimented each other on how pretty they looked for the day and then went to bed.
The next day the pretty maidens went to the stream to collect water (that’s “whooota” not “water”, British accent, rememba?) for their gardens. Once again, the boogeyman jumped from behind a tree and scared the pretty maidens, and again they made dodo in britches. Now, they’d just washed the dodo out of their britches the day before, so the pretty maidens were really, really mad this time, so once again the pretty maidens criticised the boogeyman for scaring them. The boogyman once again had accomplished what he wanted, so he quickly ran away. The pretty maidens went back to Mt Kamelot, and as they always do to calm their frazzled nerves, complimented each other on how pretty they looked and went to bed.
The next day, 3 of the pretty maidens went to see the Queen about the boogeyman and to give her the pie they baked. The pretty maidens (who once again, hopefully don’t miss the whole point of this story and fail to realise that I’m on their side, even though I don’t agree with some of their choices regarding the Mt Kamelot boogeymen) told the Queen that the boogeyman scared them numerous times and wanted her to do something about it. The Queen told the pretty maidens that she couldn’t do anything about it, because the boogeyman was just too slick, and that they should just IGNORE the boogeyman and he’d probably stop scaring them. But the pretty maidens weren’t satisfied, so they went home a huffin’ and a puffin’ because the boogeyman would not be banished from the land like they (and ALL the people of Mt Kamelot, including the HOT and SEXY narrator of this story) wanted. “Why doesn’t the Queen do something about this?!” one cried. “Is it because I’m not pretty?” another asked. “NO you’re very pretty today, dammit!” another replied. “Oh reeeally? Why thank you and you’re all looking pretty today too!” the other responded. “Oh please, stop, you’re making us blush!” the others purred back. The pretty maidens, now completely exhaaauuusted from complimenting each other’s beauty, walked home and went to bed.
Early the next day, the pretty maidens went for a stroll to pick flowers for their hair. They were just picking flowers, minding their own business, when all of sudden that boogeyman jumped from behind a tree and scared the caca outta them pretty maidens, who in turn, once again (even after the Queen AND her Ladies in Waiting sensibly advised them to just IGNORE the boogeyman), criticised the boogeyman for scaring them.
One of the pretty maidens asked “Mr. boogeymans, why is you always scaring us for?” to which the boogeyman replied “Cuz like all boogeymen, I know you’ll get mad and criticise me, and I like that. If you all stop criticising me and just IGNORE me, maybe I would stop scaring the caca-dodo outta you.” and then the boogyman ran away.
Now certainly (the people of Mt Kamelot thought) these sensible, mature and wise pretty maidens...hearing this from the Queen and now from the boogeyman HIMSELF, would show that they have the brains to go along with their beauty, and just IGNORE the fricken boogeymen so that maybe they’d go away (yes, he has a brother and some cousins too...didn’t I mention that? Ooopsy :D), restoring some peacefulness to Mt Kamelot. But, alas...the pretty maidens continue to criticise the boogeymen time and time again...
:cry“OHHHH baby jesus...will the boogeymen eva, eva go aWAY!?” the people of Mt Kamelot cried. “There looks to be not a chance in hell.” the narrator replied.
The End